Stoicism
by Jozefski
Summary: If only she could feel, If only she could feel...


**A/N- I don't claim any originality for this. I just thought I'd give the "second perspective" thing a shot. You know, to flex my writing muscles (which have been terribly lax as of late). I've read many of these kinds of stories, and have derived a bit of inspiration from all of them. All you need to know about this story is that it takes place right after the ep. **_**Things Change.**_

**Stoicism**

If you could feel, you might be fascinated.

Of course, there are many things that fascinate you. Art, history, philosophy- but those are merely matters of interest, and thus can cause no harm. No, fascination was something else entirely. Interest couldn't make you weak in the knees, couldn't make you want to understand something so badly that it threatened your control.

_He_ is fascinating.

The boy is a bundle of contradictions. He's lazy when it comes to his responsibilities, but astoundingly industrious when it comes to pranks or getting you to smile. He's strong when the situation demands it, weak when things aren't as dire. Funny when he isn't trying to be, uncouth when he is.

If you could feel, it might've been frustrating. People aren't supposed to be puzzles to you. You can peer into their minds, feel their emotions, know what their greatest fears and weaknesses are.

But your powers only make 'the puzzle' even more complex. Instead of putting the pieces together, it drifts them further apart.

Perhaps you are making things seem more complicated than they really are. Still, you can't deny he's overwhelming, like a pregnant sun beating down on you on a hot summer day. It isn't that you don't know what he feels- to the contrary, his emotions constantly and ennervatingly bombard you- it's _why_ he feels them. Why is he always so happy and cheerful? Why the rampant curiosity? Why does he want to prove himself?

Why does he feel all these things _especially_ when he's around you?

At first, you disregarded all these perplexities. It wasn't any of your business, and it never would be. He was just your team-mate, an extra source of relief and support on the battlefield. You couldn't afford to think about anybody like_ that_. A crevice of weakness in your control could swiftly widen to a chasm. He was nothing more than a team-mate and that was that.

Or so you thought...

A series of events occur that make the two of you closer. He's been in your head, and ever since then you've had to resist the temptation of peeking around in his. That's not all, unfortunately. He's seen you at your most vulnerable, and it didn't even occur to him to take advantage of that. You probably would've jumped his bones if he had played his cards right, but it didn't go any further than a hug (it was a good thing he pushed you away before Cyborg interfered).

As a result, all the questions about him you've tried to ignore come racing back.

_And you have no idea what to do about it_.

He's such a persistent boy. Such a stubborn, reckless, beautiful boy...

If you could feel, you might consider him handsome.

It's somewhere, beneath his childish features and the innocent gleam of emerald eyes. It's there even in his voice, which would leave its usually cracky tone and betray a huskiness lying dormant in youthful adolescence. It was in his posture and the way he kept himself going for the sake of the team; it was there in that damn, adorable fang that never ceased to protrude from his mouth.

He is the culmination of every repulsive desire and false hope you've ever considered.

This is why you can't let him in. It would be thrilling and adventurous. Worst of all, it would make you happy.

And you don't deserve that.

The prophecy, your father's blood, years of psychological conditioning as a child in Azarath, cannot be undone by a mere boy.

And so, without feeling anything, you watch as a green hawk vanishes from your vision, darting off to some school where a girl who _could_ feel was waiting for him.

And the most heart-wrenching truth is that, if you could have felt something, it might have been for him.

If you could feel, you might love him.


End file.
